The Girl inside
Someone told me there is a little girl inside me. Since then I tried hard to figure which is the little girl that is inside and which is the big girl that is outside as a cover. I went into a dilemma if it was a good thing or a bad. Failing to figure it out I dropped the self questioning until yesterday.
On the way home from office yesterday, I booked a new bike. I was planning for a bike for over a month. When I got home I told Chuck about it. You may assume Chuck to be anybody. At first he congratulated me, later when I asked him to come with me the next week for the bike's delivery, he denied. I understood. It was the 'I' factor. Rather than questioning him right then, like I would have done normally, I simply kept quite. An hour later I asked him about dinner, on which he got a little irritated. Although I ordered Chinese and got over with it. Now, it was bed time, its been a while we dint make love. I went closer to him to and slowly slipped my hand under his boxers. I was just about to reach my destination when he all of a sudden said, Goodnight!
A bullet ran right through my throat, ripping my heart, tearing across my stomach down into my wet vagina.
I suddenly got furious and forced myself away and walked straight into the washroom. I stood by the sink looking at myself. I felt the anger rising into my head, a violent thought to burn the house down. At that moment I felt like breaking the entire washroom into pieces. Or to go a bang his head hard with a bat.
Then from somewhere inside myself a voice came- calm down, it is just anger. It will pass, you can control it. I felt more angry, the feeling was so violent and fierce that I could barely breath. The voice said again, it is the angry you, it should not be out, it should always be inside. Out of nowhere I realized, it was the inner me. I got to know how my inner me was. It was weak, vulnerable, arrogant, and mad. I understood she should never be out, she was mad, psychotic. I asked her to calm down, she wouldn't. I got angry and I hit her, she would still not listen. More anger filled in, I hit her harder and harder. I smashed her on the floor, she tried to get up. I hit her in the head and shoulder and everywhere. So hard that she couldn't get up any more. I was now relieved. I was calming down. I looked at her, she slowly moved, raised her head a little, I saw her face, it was myself. And she said to me- "Look who is mad now...."
Someone told me there is a little girl inside me. Since then I tried hard to figure which is the little girl that is inside and which is the big girl that is outside as a cover. I went into a dilemma if it was a good thing or a bad. Failing to figure it out I dropped the self questioning until yesterday.
On the way home from office yesterday, I booked a new bike. I was planning for a bike for over a month. When I got home I told Chuck about it. You may assume Chuck to be anybody. At first he congratulated me, later when I asked him to come with me the next week for the bike's delivery, he denied. I understood. It was the 'I' factor. Rather than questioning him right then, like I would have done normally, I simply kept quite. An hour later I asked him about dinner, on which he got a little irritated. Although I ordered Chinese and got over with it. Now, it was bed time, its been a while we dint make love. I went closer to him to and slowly slipped my hand under his boxers. I was just about to reach my destination when he all of a sudden said, Goodnight!
A bullet ran right through my throat, ripping my heart, tearing across my stomach down into my wet vagina.
I suddenly got furious and forced myself away and walked straight into the washroom. I stood by the sink looking at myself. I felt the anger rising into my head, a violent thought to burn the house down. At that moment I felt like breaking the entire washroom into pieces. Or to go a bang his head hard with a bat.
Then from somewhere inside myself a voice came- calm down, it is just anger. It will pass, you can control it. I felt more angry, the feeling was so violent and fierce that I could barely breath. The voice said again, it is the angry you, it should not be out, it should always be inside. Out of nowhere I realized, it was the inner me. I got to know how my inner me was. It was weak, vulnerable, arrogant, and mad. I understood she should never be out, she was mad, psychotic. I asked her to calm down, she wouldn't. I got angry and I hit her, she would still not listen. More anger filled in, I hit her harder and harder. I smashed her on the floor, she tried to get up. I hit her in the head and shoulder and everywhere. So hard that she couldn't get up any more. I was now relieved. I was calming down. I looked at her, she slowly moved, raised her head a little, I saw her face, it was myself. And she said to me- "Look who is mad now...."
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